| always. |
[Tuesday
April 18th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 heartbroken </3 |
] |
| [ |
music |
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goodbye, goodnight - mae |
] |
it's over.
i'm heartbroken, but i understand why he did it.
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[Tuesday
April 18th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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dark blue - jack's mannequin |
] |
i'm just not happy.
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| i tried to hold your hand, but you'd rather hold your grudge.. |
[Saturday
April 15th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i have a headache,blah. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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trouble sleeping - the perishers |
] |
so me and ronnie were doing really good. we weren't fighting or anything, & we were both in super good moods all week. then all of a sudden he like starts freaking out? and i don't even know why. whatever.
i just went on my first driving hour. haha i can't take turns. i almost crashed into a curb again. aw well. he said i did good though.
k i have to pack, bye.
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| if you should ever leave me, i will crumble.. |
[Thursday
April 13th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 well, my battle wound is sore. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dance like this - wycelf jean |
] |
so yeah, first night of vacation. haha.
joke.
waited til like 8 for ashley to come down from peabody, then headed to britt's party part II. we got there and automatically wanted to kill ourselves. there were bogus people there x10. so we busted and threw back a couple of redbulls. whatever, we went back to britt's. like a half hour later, actually i have no concept of time.. someone yelled "COPS" and then someone else was like "NO THERES NO COPS" then someone was like "COPS" and so i was like wtf and then someone was like "COPS COPS COPS COPS COPS" so i was like shiet. so we took of running through brittany's backyard, keep in mind its like a forest / hill and JESS HAS SANDLES ON!! k so, the cops are coming kids are scattering ALL OVER THE PLACE. so i take a look at the huge fence in front of me that the boys are jumping, with ease i might add.. meanwhile i SUNK INTO THE GROUND, lost my sandle (am i even spelling that right?, whatever.) and i started to get bundled by kids with mad beers in their hands. so i'm like "shiet doode, i gots ta hop dat fence before the popo's come git me." i hopped that fence, with BARE FEET, like it was my job. i don't even think i touched it with my fence, just kinda hurdled that sucka. me & 23131 other kids are running through this poor woman's backyard and i STILL DON'T HAVE SHOES ON. i get to the street and my foot is bleeding all over the place. cool? so i had to have maria go into CVS for a free bandaid. & i still can't really feel the lower half of my left leg, i think i have like hepC. HHHANYWAYS, there was nothing to do and we got lost going to some random wendys, so we just turned around and went home cause ashley lives in freakin peabody now, so she had to be home.
oh yea, ronnie was being REALLY wierd. idkz.
& of course there is rumors going around already that brittany got arrested and 10 cruises and a wagon took everyone outta the house.. not true i just talked to britt she's at her aunts, she's not even in trouble? saywhat.
k i'm done, shOutZoUtZzs tAa LIANSKI BRUNO perche she's the only one dat reads thys ishh.
-1-
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| just bogus |
[Wednesday
April 12th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick, ew the guy is puking. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i will crumble - mike vogel |
] |
i'm SICK.
bogus.
i have to move the day of prom.
bogus.
my boyfriend hates me.
bogus.
i have 4 tests tomorrow, that i WILL fail.
bogus.
i still didn't do my homework.
bogus.
i have to pay 70 dollars for the limo tomorrow.
bogus.
i still needa buy jewerly and stuff.
bogus.
i have to WORK during vacation.
bogus.
i had to buy tanning goggles for 5 dollars.
bogus.
I DON'T FEEL GOOD.
bogus.
I'M LISTENING TO 90'S SONGS<333 NOT BOGUS.
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[Tuesday
April 4th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pessimistic |
] |
ehhh ! i hit the wrong thing by accident and messssed up my layout!
heeelp
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| you're dying from the inside out.. |
[Tuesday
April 4th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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you and i both - jason mraz |
] |
my parents are IDIOTIC. they sold my house? so we are pretty much going to be homeless soon. WHO SELLS THEIR HOUSE WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE ONE TO MOVE INTO?? and i mean we found one that is PERFECT, seriously. did we buy it? NO, because my dad gives this lame ass excuse, "i wanted to move away from the highway, it's not good inhaling all that carbon monoxide." and so i rebuttled with, "IT'S NOT GOOD INHALING THE SMOKE FROM YOUR CIGARRETTES BUT YOU DO IT ANYWAYS." that shut him up. now they want to rent an apartment?! like honestly, go hop off a cliff.. infact i'll push you.
sorry just needed to get that out.
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| APRIL FOOLS. |
[Saturday
April 1st, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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She Says - Howie Day |
] |
heya everyone,
so i'm pretty much just gunna start this thing back up. not because my life is exciting or anything, but it's just a saturday afternoon with nothing else to do.
but anyways, i HATE when i wait all freaking week in school just for the weekend, some hope to just have some fun and take a break. of course, EVERYTIME the weekend comes it ends up being a flop anyways, then it's just back to school on monday. this week was somewhat stressful. i kinda had a lot of things to do and stuff, but i got through it all right it wasn't so bad. however, on tuesday i made the hardest decision i've ever had to make. i quit the softball team. i'm not too sure how to feel about that. i mean i'm kinda glad i have free time, and i know i wouldn't even play, so it would be a waste of time anyways. but at the same time i feel like i just lost a close friend or something. even though i haven't been playing thaaat long, i still love it. being told you're not great at the only thing you thought you were doing right, SUCKS. i miss it alot, but i know that decision was the right one. so yeah, now i can get all my driving stuff out of the way and get my license and what not, so that's pretty cool.
on thursday after i finished my 342343 projects,(side note: me and lian SUCK AT MEASURING SHIT WITH PROTRACTORS AND STAWS.) i went to the parent pasta night thing at the school. i actually had a pretty good time. more people showed up then i thought there would be. and i heard we made mucho cash, so that's always cool. plus i WON A PROM TICKET. lucky for ron. prom's in 27 days, i don't know if i'm SUPER excited or not even wanting to go. i don't like my dress at all. eehhh well.
anyhow, yesterday was bogus. i was all excited for friday, plus it was NICE out. but once again, my hopes were shot down. i went to maria's for a little bit, free styled, went outside, obvs went on myspace. then i got in a fight with my dad over mozzerella sticks? and i ended up eating a bagillion chickenwings. ron like never called me, but i talked to him via AIM and we had this huge talk & now we understand eachother better, and i'm gunna try not to get mad at him all the time. so i was waiting inside ON A FRIDAY NIGHT until 8:30 then i made a buncha phone calls, and the only one around was mariana and justin sawicki. i went there and watched them eat food and watched tourettes guy and then ashley came over for like an hour. good times.
today i went driving for the firs time in the longest time. uhh didn't go so well. we went to the cemetary and i was doing good! then another car came when i was taking a turn and i got nervous and my dad SCREAMED AT ME and i ended up like crashing his car basically. so yep. i was done driving for the day. then we went to look at house in WINCHESTER? it was grotesque. but now i'm just sitting here bored, and i gauruntee ronbon won't call me for about another 5 hours. seriously.
i have to go call work and tell them i'm not working the 4 days they scheduled me. so long.
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[Friday
August 12th, 2005] |
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[Thursday
August 11th, 2005] |
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rest in peace Ashley Marie Burns <33
May 16, 1991 - August 9, 2005
fly high in heaven ash
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| summer summer summer timeeee... |
[Friday
June 24th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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 E X H A U S T E D |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
everytime - britney spears |
] |
woa it's only the FIRST day of summer and already it's sick.
last night: went to the softball banquet! good times there. julie made us laugh for lagit 10 mins straight and no one could breathe. the food sucked ass but it was good to see everyone. once again the banquet was pretty much just for the seniors, so the slide show and stuff was kinda boring but whatevs. then i headed out to maria's. it was a PARRTTY. me sam maria jules and linds. we were bored so we decided to take a walk to camilles. on the way jules gets this brilliant idea to play ding dong ditch. so i ran done this HUGE hill and i could'nt stop myself, i absolutely FLEW down that hill. hahah. but we got to camilles and they were CLOSED. so we got this excellent idea to go to the brooks school playground? on the way this guy on his bike rode by us and barked? jules was like "FREAKKK .. YOU FRIGGEN !#$!$&^" haha JULES<3. when we got the park we started taking crazy pics and things got a bit outta hand, especially the fact that there were like 3 naked girls in an elementary school playground. lmao while we were there jules got like tangled in some structure? that looked like a twisted ladder. and all of a sudden we hear: "IM STUCK IN THE DOUBLE HELIX .. IM STUCK IN THE FUCKING DNA" hahaha. so we got her out and decided to just walk back to maria's where we looked at all the crazy pictures and cracked up, especially cause sam's FEET were in like 88% of the pictures. she did it on purpose i bet. we had to get up at like 6 the next morning so we decided that 1 was late enough to stay up. but then me and jules got DELERIOUS and we started taking pictures everywhere and we went crazy. meanwhile sam was trying to sleep and she was like "JULES I FUCKING HATE YOU, IM GUNNA BEAT THE PISS OUTTA YOU!" gooddd timesss<333 haha.
today!: yeah so screw school? i wasn't about to go to school and watch MOVIES in the theater. so we all got up at like 7, got ready, and headed down to the train station in west medford. we got on that train and it only took like 15 minutes to get to north station and that train was only 2 dollars. keep in mind i only have 10 dollars :X but i was like watever the next trains probably the same ill have like 6 dollars left. uh how wrong was i. we go up to the window and get round trip to manchester. $10.50!!!! wtf. so i borrowed a few dollars from sam. so anyway we get on that train and its friggin FREEZING. and it was like an hour ride. KMS. so we get off and we expect there to be a beach like right across the street, but there's not one in sight. so were like !%#$^&. so we start walking down beach st. which GOES ON FOREVER. and jules stole a sign "107 beach st." and named the theme of the day that lmao. so finally after like what seemed like an hour and 10 min. walk we get there! and the beach was beautiffull! it's called singing sands.. and the sand really does sing, pretty sick. so that was a GOOD TIME at the beach. jules forgot her bottoms and walked around in her underwearrr lol. messss. anyways it was wicked fun and we got harassed by like 254252 blind people im not even kidding, they were EVERYWHERE. and then we were waiting for maria's dad to come pick us up and this like 40 year old puerto rican man walks up to sam and says "i saw you from a distance.. you're pretty" and like ran away? SKETCH. anyway now im here still feelin beachy, and i'm waiting for SOMEONE to call .. so i can go out! :) pcee
everytime i try to fly i fall
without my wings, i feel so small
i guess i need you baby.
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| when will i get the chance to say i love you? .. |
[Thursday
June 23rd, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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sore from pitching >:O |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
white houses - vanessa carlton |
] |
yo waddup.
soo it's officially SUMMER and i couldn't be any happier. today actually went by MUCH faster then i thought it would! i got into school did my before homeroom thingg u noo. i gave eric his kick ass card! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC<33 then i my math final, which wasn't THAT bad .. but i still don't think i did that good. but guess what i'll NEVER KNOW cause i'm not going back tomorrow. so i drew one last picture for danny, it was a picture of the class lmao. i really am gunna miss that class, even thought i hated it. me and danny had some GOOD TIMES =( .. so after that i was like what the #@!$% i don't even have anything to do. so i walked around the voke for a little with mariana jacq brittany and johanna. then we were bored and there was nothing to do soo we went to the fitness center and chilled in there. i put my sick cd in and then got HARASSED so i took it out before i got jumped. then i bounced outta theree said goodbye to my gym teacha MAD LOVE G. then i walked around again cause THEY STILL WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE, even though it was suppose to be summer for me three hours before. eehh whatevs, i went into mrs longos room and talked to kayla, lauren, and allie for a little, and then talked to mrs longo. we got our final grades back, i got a C and that's AFTER she scaled them .. =X haha oops. whatever i still have a B- .. so anyways that period went by fast! and then i thought i was gunna cry cause mrs longo's retiring and it was sad. so i gave her a hugg aww. then i was walking by pellinz room and decided to stop in and say goodbye to her AGAIN, aw gosh im gunna miss that crazy lady and that crazy class. =| .. so then i left school for the last time and i was like FUUCKKU MHS. haha yeah i gave it the finger .. anyways i didn't feel like going home yet cause i was wicked hungry so i went to alfredo's with mariana and got some pizza, and then i walked home by myself .. and i got lost. IN MEDFORD. that's so bad .. but luckly i found my way home and now i'm here and that'ss itttt. BYEE =D !
i can feel you breathing
and it's keeping me awake.
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| don't look no further baby i'm BACK yea .. |
[Wednesday
June 22nd, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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really bored :] |
] |
| [ |
music |
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breathing - yellow card |
] |
yea yea the rumors are TRUE. the journal IS coming back for the summer. at least i'm going to try because i miss it, and i actually find pleasure in recording all my days in here. :)
so anyways today i had three finals: italian, english and history. eeh it went OKAY. italian i preety much guessed on like almost all the questions? saying bye to pellinz was sad though actually. we had such good times in the class. especially when me lainz divitz and mariana got kicked out like the first week of school. THE CREW<3. english was a big joke it was the SAME exact thing as the review sheet, but the dumbass that i am i didn't even LOOK at it before the test .. but whatever because i still got a 94! we were done like and hour early and heinegg took us for like a walk around the school? .. good times. anyways history was easy, or so i thought. but when he was going over the answers i found that i got like 10 wrong anyway .. sweet.
okay tomorrow i'm gunna wanna like smash my head off the walls because i only have one final (math) and that's in the morning .. and all of a sudden they're like locking us in school? i don't even know where to go for gym cause we can't go swimming and mrs longo told us to not even come to her class cause she's cleaning her whole room out because she's retiring (aw<3). soo yeah i'm gunna have to stay in school for like two hours more then i have to ..
but, overall sophmore year was actually preety sick ..
are you afraid of being alone?
cause i am, i'm lost without you..
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| i was gone for a minute .. |
[Tuesday
June 14th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my chemical romance - the ghost of you |
] |
wooaa, it has been FOREVER. but yes believe it, this journal WILL be coming back for good in the summer, which is in approximetely 10 days! get ready.
and tonight will go on forever,
as we walk around this city like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat.
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| you'll always be my konstantine .. |
[Sunday
January 30th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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exhausted (?) <3 |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the used: all that ive got |
] |
life was easy when you only had a total of 13 friends (or the total of kids in your class).
life was easy when you didn't like boys, because you thought that they still had cooties.
life was easy when all you had to do for homework was color by the numbers.
life was easy when there was still snack time, and recess.
life was easy when there was a scheduled time for naps.
life was easy when being with your parents was still socially acceptable.
life was easy when a pink shirt and green pants matched.
life was easy when the only broken heart you got was because they didnt have pizza for lunch, or one of the boys cut you in line.
life was easy when everyone gave out the little valentines on valentine day, and when dressing up and going trick or treating for halloween was the highlight of the year.
life was easy when we still carried lunchboxes.
life was easy when shoes were velcro.
life was easy when mom went to the store and bought a bunch of clothes for me, and i liked them.
life was easy when my mom still put my hair up in the morning, even though i could easily do it myself.
life was easy when our parents made our plans for us.
life was easy when goodbyes, only meant until tomorrow
[x] comment if you have anymore thats all i could think of right now.. :o)
ill love you forever . zb
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| everyday we are together, is the greatest day of my life.. |
[Tuesday
January 25th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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sooo sick eerr |
] |
| [ |
music |
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konstantine - something coporate |
] |
okay so now were on our 4th day off from school, which is pretty sweet. i dont update this thing any more because nothing happens in my life, at all.
so we took a buncha FUN midterms last week and it went alright i guess, my italian one was extremely hard i thought for some reason. we got a new gym teacher mr. Gfkdsfuefeaj (?), im just gunna call him mr g. but hes pretty cool, i think hes nice. so pretty soon were actually gunna have a gym class! wow! anyways friday was the most boring day of my life. omg i almost died. and i was waiting for my mom to come home and play a game with me lol but she DITCHED me and went to a club to see my cousin sing, that i couldnt go to because im not 18. helllo im family that should be an exception. so i just stayed in, watched STAY TUNED, besst movie ever. and then went to bed early, fun stuff.
on saturday i went to the mall with momma, bought pants and a shirt at express, and 2 pairs of jeans at pacsun. that was pretty neat. then i went to courtneys and it started snowing. so we just stayed in and played some trivial pursuit that was awesome and we watched the forgotten, okay movie kinda weird.
sunday woke up at the dwyers had a good breakfast cooked by mr dwyer. hung around there and watched football and play trivial pursuit again dan cried over EVERY answer. haha dantheman youre so awesome. and then i went home at half time. then hung around my house bored as usual. then eventually went to sleep.
monday THERE IS SOOO MUCH SNOW ITS INCREDIBLE! ive never seen that much in my life, so of course we didnt have school. so i hung around all day feeling like crap ughh. and then i found out we didnt have school AGAIN today..and then courtney called and i went over her house at like 530 and then we went to pick up allie and zack. we watched friday night lights, not as good as i thought it was going to be? oh well. then we played trivial pursuit as usual, and allie came up with the funniest answers. aw we love you al. then zack went home and we watched the hillside strangler, that was a LITTLE odd. not TOTALLY horrible though. then talked for a while and allie feel asleep on us, so then me and courtney went to sleep. i woke up at like 8:30 and i felt sooo sick. UGH. so i went home at like 10:30.
and now we have school tomorrow, and i feel like crap, and i STILL havent done my english papers =/ .. although tomorrows c day and i love c days i dont think im gunna love it so much. i still have to take my math midterm and a history in class essay. omg i hate school sooo much. alright thats enough of that. bye.
i love you x3
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[Monday
January 24th, 2005] |
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♥ i love you so much, always have always will.
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| you'll always be a part of me.. |
[Thursday
January 20th, 2005] |
Somewhere between the procrastination, And the homework, And the incessant forwards, And the friendships, And the nasty cafeteria food, And the calls to each other complaining about crushes, Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends, And the "I miss you's", And the "I love you's", And the "What are we doing tonight's", And somewhere between all of the changing & growing... Somewhere between the classes, And the skipping classes, And the studying for tests, And the pretending to study for tests, And the downright not studying for tests... I forgot. I forgot what high school is all about. I forgot what it meant to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy. And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart. I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future. I forgot that you can't control falling in love, And that you can't make yourself fall in love. I learned that I can love. I learned that it's okay to mess up, And it's okay to ask for help, And it's okay to feel like crap. I learned its okay to complain and whine to all your friends for whole day. I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school isnt the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups... It's the friendships which means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about. I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing, And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends Both OLD & NEW Are the most important people to me in the world And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. Thanks for always being there.
<33
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| suitcase of memories .. |
[Sunday
January 16th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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lasting impressions - the starting line |
] |
sorry i haven't updated you probably haven't missed me but oh well.
this week suckedish, but i have to admit that it went by extremely fast so im grateful for that. i dont really remember any day except thursday i had like NOTHING to do, i had like 543432 free periods. and then we had a wicked cute assembly about drugs and stuff. i thought it was a joke at first, cause it was like lindsay lohan and hilary duff. but yeah it was kinda pointless. but then friday we didnt do anything either. oh well. friday night went to zack's game with courtney and allie and stayed for the varsity one = EXTREMELY BORING. =/ but then i kinda yelled at zack but than regreted it alot (sorry). then COURTNEY drove us to her house, had some pizza and stuff and then peg gave us a ride home.
saturday chilled around, then went to the store with the bro, his last day home aw =(, and i got Napoleon Dynamite. then just hung out and read some more, this book is getting really intense. but then i got ready to party hard at carissas. went there and had a fun time with: carissa jen maria ashley jordana brittsky lauren kayla dylan chris eric mike tiffany and whoever i forgot sorry. we watched the OC and i thought me and dylan were gunna slit our wrists. I HATE THAT SHOW. then we FORGOT to play twister cause we were too wrapped up in OC time >:O grr. and then we decided to watch the Notebook which i thought came out in febuary? but it was sooo good omg. it was SO sad. i loved it. i woulda cried if everyone wasnt laughing (?) but anyways then it was like 11:45 so i had to go home, came home went online read went to bed..
today im going to courtneys to watch the game. i still have to do my project shit..
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| sorry i was never everything you dreamed.. |
[Thursday
January 6th, 2005] |
| [ |
mood |
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CRUSHED <3 |
] |
| [ |
music |
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last train home - lost prophets |
] |
cause shes always gunna be your everything meanwhile i'm just some girl, and i know you keep saying im so much more. but when it comes down to it you'd give up everything for her. you'd give away your whole entire world and just leave me hanging here and expect me to be there to pick up all the broken peices for you when she leaves again, well i'm so tired of being just some girl, when you're everything to me ..
- SNO0O0O0WWW DAYYYY !! =]
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